The TALK

It's time.  My nine year old is wise to the fact that you don't just "get married" and magically have a baby, but I must say that I kept that charade up for a long as possible.  I knew it was time however when he brought up ape/human breeding as an awesome idea for a new species.  Cut to my son 10 years from now at his first college party:

Him:  Hey did you know that we're both primates?

Hot girl:  Um, yeah, I guess so.

Him:  You know what that means don't you?

HG:  No, what?

Him:  We can BREED!

HG:  Whatever dork.

I am committed to the above scenario not happening.  So this is going to be the week.  I think I'm going to read a book with him ("What's the Big Secret") and then open the floor for questions.  Then I'm sure he's going to run and tell his little brother everything which his little brother will not mention again until we're in earshot of someone really embarrassing.

I just hope I can get through it without laughing or completely destroying his dreams of awesome genetic mutations.  I'll let you know how it goes.