On probation

As I mentioned to my friends on facebook this week "if I worked for me I would fire me."  I have had a job since I was 14.  My first job was at a family fish & chips restaurant.  I had to wear what I called "the English Wench" uniform that bound and lifted my ta tas up into a ridiculous mound of cleavage (I wonder if I could still get one of those...).  Every woman that worked there just happened to be fairly well endowed.  It used to completely gross me out when the horny old guys would come in on Sundays and stare down my top while they ordered their clam strips.

I went from that job to the best high school job EVER - working at a music store.  I always had a job in college working for various professors and offices.  After college and graduate school I went right to work and worked hard.  My point in all of this is that I have a work ethic, a very strong work ethic.  I just haven't quite figured out how to transfer this work ethic to my house.  Therefore, I live in a shithole.

When I was managing people I learned something very valuable that I have referred to time and time again.  When you ask someone that works for you to do something and it doesn't happen there are only two possible reasons:  1.  They don't know how.  2.  They don't want to.  I know how to clean a toilet, do the laundry, sort through old things, file bills, clean the basement, etc. etc.  I guess the bottom line is that I truly, sincerely don't want to.  But this isn't working.  I have signed up for our current division of labor.  My husband works hard.  He makes plenty of money.  I am not holding up my end of this deal.  He of course doesn't say this.  There is the occasional unspoken look around the crap or question of when was the last time the sheets were washed, but he really doesn't give me a hard time about it.

I know how to manage people.  I know how to prioritize.  I know how to meet deadlines.  So I am officially putting myself on probation.  Each week I am going to set some specific goals of accomplishment around my house and post them here for all to see.  I will let you know if I meet my terms.  

I need a good consequence if I don't meet my terms.  I think it will be letting my husband in on this if I can't do it myself and asking him to help hold my toes to the fire.  That would be humiliating enough to do the trick.