These eyes have seen a lot of loves
But they’re never gonna see another one like I had with you.
p.s. because I'm old and blind now.
Sometime in the last year or so I started having intense, searing headaches every night. Of course this meant only one thing. Brain tumor. The fact that I was squinting at my 52 inch flat screen TV should have been a little bit of a hint that it could have something to do with my peepers. So I went to the eye doctor and had my first eye exam in years. The verdict: I'm screwed. I needed two different prescriptions, one for distance and one for reading. This meant two pairs of very expensive glasses. When I came home in them my older son had this to say, "mom, no offense, but you look ugly in those glasses." (I've tried to explain to him that just saying "no offense" prior to saying something does not mean that the person will actually not take offense, especially if you say something really awful to them, but that seems to be sinking in about as much as don't pee on the seat).
Cut to present day. Or a few months ago when I started hitting parked cars. The first one was in a Trader Joe's parking lot. I left a note and a very grateful woman called my house before I even got home to inform my husband of the day's events. Then I did it again about a month ago (yes, I left ANOTHER note). I mentioned this to my eye doctor and she was concerned so today I did a "field of vision" test. Basically, you put a patch on one eye, look into a white box, follow a red light with your eye and then hit a buzzer every time you see a green light on the screen in your peripheral vision. Each eye takes 8 minutes. My score was PERFECT. Bottom line, apparently I've just become a horribly shitty driver. In fact, I'm such a bad driver that today my kids and I were going to a picnic and I was parking the van on the street and heard a terrible scraping/crunching noise. I just assumed it was me. After I stopped swearing, I realized it was the woman in the Mercedes across the street from me - PHEW!
Now I'm trying contacts, which is a whole post in itself. But I'll save that for another day.
p.s. I have no idea what's going on with the font on this post, but I can't even drive, how am I supposed to figure this out?
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