Friday, September 4, 2009

Off the team

Sometimes I worry about things.  Silly things.  For example, is there something wrong with me because I don't like what other people with vaginas like?  Here are three things I just don't get that make me wonder if I'm going to get a knock on the door one day asking me to surrender my membership in the girls' club:

1.) Little Women.  We read this book for book club a few months ago.  It bugged the shit out of me.  I'm sorry, I know that's awful.  I have nothing against classic literature.  Some of it I love.  But this book was more evidence that it was a really good thing that I had boys because I would have had about 1/millionth of the patience of "Marmee" dealing with all that estrogen.  Dra-ma.

2.)  Sex and the City:  The Movie.  Wow.  This movie is a crap sandwich with a turd pickle on the side.  I loved the show, especially the early episodes.  It had smart writing and capable actors often in surprising situations (usually a good combo).  I guess they decided that all of that stuff was simply superfluous when making this "film".  I was embarrassed to watch it and I was alone.

3.)  Twilight.  Oh stop screaming at the computer.  I just don't get it.  It's a book for teenagers.  I'm not a teenager anymore.  The writing is poor, the characters are shallow and one dimensional and most importantly THERE IS NO SEX.  How can you have a romance novel with no sex?  Ladies, I have one word for you, Outlander.  You'll never look at a kilt the same way.

So please don't kick me out of the club, but I had to get this off my chest.  My chest that has boobs on it.  Really, it does.

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