If any of you are actually reading this and do know me and/or read my blog you KNOW how much fitness and training are a huge part of my life. Since November, I've been doing Crossfit, which has added a whole new dimension to my training. I've felt stronger and more fit than ever. Until a month ago.
All of a sudden I had numbness in my left hand and weakness in my left arm. Long, boring story short I have a herniated disk in my neck (C6). Not a HUGE deal medically, but psychologically a HUGE bummer. I can't do any exercise with any impact (no running, bouncing, jumping) and no lifting (sniff). When the doctor told me I could STILL do the elliptical machine I wanted to punch him in his face. Except I'm not supposed to punch either.
We're treating it conservatively right now with rest, anti-inflammatories and therapy. If that doesn't work, we go to more invasive options. He also prescribed a nerve medication for the numbness and tingling in my hand and arm called Gabapentin (Neuronitin). Side effects include: Suicide. I've taken it for three days and I think I'm done. Not liking the way it makes me feel (lethargic) and all around craptastic. Plus, it just masks the symptoms, does nothing to cure the condition. Our flex savings kicks in again in July so I'm going back to the acupuncturist.
The whole thing really makes me sad. And what does it say about me that I'm not happy unless I can do everything physical that I want to do when I want to do it? I had huge plans for the summer, was signed up for more events, wanted to do more surfing lessons, wanted to push myself to the next level in Crossfit. Now I just feel lost and in limbo.
I think about soldiers coming back from overseas without limbs, people fighting chronic illnesses etc. and it makes me feel like the biggest whiner in the world. I know this too shall pass, one way or another. But maybe it's time for a little more balance in my life? Or to find a few other things besides working out that bring the same level of satisfaction? I thought about going to the local animal shelter and seeing if I could walk dogs. That sounds pretty great :)
It is the last summer I have with my older son before he goes to middle school. Maybe this is my message from the universe to soak him up? On that note, we're off to the wolf preserve. Woof.
I love you and your ability to stop and reflect and yourself in perspective. If I were in Jersey I would give you a hug and a glass of wine, for getting the whine off your chest and putting yourself in check. You are loved by a curly haired girl in Oregon.
ReplyDeleteLove you too Miss Willow. Please keep the wine and the hug on hold for me until August :)
ReplyDeleteThought I'd post, since you don't think anyone reads your Blog! First off, the good perspective of Soldiers coming home with injuries and limbs missing, is the right Barometer, and something I try to do as well when things don't go my way. But when Exercise has to do with your Mental Health, and it DOES, it's natural to get depressed. I just had skin cancer removed off my back on Monday, twenty stitches and a DEEP cut, and I can't go to the Gym, it sucks, and it's scary.
ReplyDeleteSo Acupuncture will save the day for you in my prediction. It did on my chronic Knee that had two surgeries. Acupuncture is MAGIC, this will all be a memory soon. You're an athletic person, you got an injury, and you're going to Rehab so you're ready to play some Football in the Fall!
Thank you Matt :) I'm so sorry to hear about your cancer scare, I had no idea! I'm assuming everything is OK other than the temporary discomfort (which I'm sure sucks)? Thinking of you.
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